Monday, March 10, 2008


Word Whores is the official voice of the Sacred Church of the Ancient Mysteries, a non-denominational all inclusive church [501(c)(3) status pending] which meets all needs and solves all problems. We can and will do anything to ease your mind, comfort your tired soul and ensure the well-being of your body and our bank account. We cannot guarantee eternal bliss, but we can guarantee five minutes of heaven on earth. Wishes? Dreams? Problems? Regrets? Desires both ordinary and insegrievious? SCAM solves all.
Please contact us at any time to arrange membership. Accolytes, priests, high priests and other rankings are available for a small surcharge above the usual membership dues. Priestly vestments are custom made to meet YOUR particular needs.
We have no physical church as we believe you can worship anywhere, provided that place has previously been annointed with holy water ($4.95 per beaker [2 oz] plus applicable shipping and handling charges. Order 6 or more and s/h is included)
We accept donations through Paypal, although cash is also accepted as are plates of hot latkes and bottles of cold champagne.
Thank you for your support.
And remember, with SCAM all things are possible.
Special consideration given to repentent pond scum.

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